new year'd.

this has nothing to do with snl. rather i guess, i have nothing to do with snl. often when i think about trying to finish my promise that i made to no one in particular i often choose just to sit in my apartment in silence.

this has to do with me and my bed.

i don't think anyone has spent as much time thinking about a bed they already own as much as me. which is to say i think about it more than i write (so greater than never) but less than i listen to music (constantly, accept as sited in this moment where i opted for silence. well, i'm now going to argue the sound of my clock that no longer has the incorrect time is music. yup. I’m arty.)

why in this moment am i finally sharing this obscure "obsession" with my bed?? because i'm trying to revamp it's style. it's a new year, and doesn't every bed, pillow, flooring, or human deserve a fresh start?! that and i've been putting it off.

one (who is nosy) might ask what's wrong with your bed's current style? well first they might ask what a bed style is and if that is a thing. it's not a thing. but that's between me and my bed. don't judge. my bed's current style was made out of impulse for something better. for me and bed. i thought i could inspire us to be different peoplethings. instead i learned don't buy a red comforter when you don't really care for the color. and change is hard. but mostly, i don't do red.

here are the issues however. bed is king sized. that's right this 5'2 body needs space! well, i really don't. which is why i (1) no longer have end tables, just put everything in the extra space (2) have 3 levels of pillows, because that's necessary, and (3) have considered renting out the extra space for i don't know office space or as a hostel.

i know i want to do the grey and yellow combination. i know i still want to attract the opposite sex (no large flower comforters or things with cartoons - i hear this is not "sexy"). i know i'm broke/cheap. please help.

smoke if you got 'em

it took until almost halloween. figures. i hate the holiday.

personal choice. i'm not here to get all preachy about which holiday you should or should not enjoy. although now that i have your attention... halloween sucks because you have to dress up. you have to put all this effort into being something you're not for a promise of a fun evening. then you get there and find that what you are pretending to be is never good enough. not for candy or for being slutty.

i think i am going to blame tivo for being so efficient. you had to remember my goal to watch every episode of SNL so you go ahead and start recording the new season without even consulting me once if it was something i wanted. doesn't even consider how it would make me feel to keep my random unspecified commitments.

so in order to make sure i never found anything funny again, i watched 3 episodes of the new season. well, to clarify i watch 2 episodes and less than 1 minute of an episode since tivo messed up. out of all of that here's what i gathered:

1. in less than 1 min that tivo got of the season premiere it magically got the funniest part. a parrot joke. i think you get the rest.

2. that maybe (to take some of it off snl) i need to know more about politics to get the jokes.

3. seth myers is single so that's awesome.

4. i might have a bad sense of humor because the things i find funny are jokes that we coined in 1950 and haven't changed so there it is. i watched it. i laughed 10 times*. and then i blogged.

i need a life.

*footnote- by laugh I mean chuckled. I will promise now to state when and if I ever truly laugh on the to the out loud (LOL).

(cover)

i've got to be honest fans. i couldn't watch anymore. they cracked me. oh that tricky SNL. i do want to give it another shot, but it's just going to take me some time to figure out when i want to loose all ability to laugh. probably around Christmas.

Now for some random Nicki thoughts!

sometimes the internet confuses me. i guess it's not the internet. it's passwords. internet just made it so now you have a greater chance of confusing which user name / password combo you've created to keep people out. Joke is a hacker can figure it out faster then you can remember what ingenious code you created to trick them. You tricked you. Thanks technology.

When you're a grown up do you get points for making right choices? I guess I'm wondering, when you do something where you already are fully aware of what making that choice will do but you do it anyway either out of desperation or optimism (I believe the correct term is delusion) does that mean you loose some grown up points?

I was thinking that but then thought that would be a bonus because then if you lost grown up points you get the right to continue doing fun kid stuff. like wearing pigtail braids. Or did wearing those pigtail braids lead to making what is know as an "irresponsible" choice? These are the things I come up with to remove myself as a part of this adult life and accepting it was me who made these choices. I am not an adult, only the observer of the people around me. The bad choices are for research! I must do as the 20 somethings do. Shots anyone?

I've noticed there's not a lot of refuge for those people in the middle of the road.

words

There are a lot of things that are overwhelming. Hospitals. Years of separation since high school. Braiding hair without any fly aways.

Comedy is overwhelming. to me. because i'm not funny.

Being a grown up is overwhelming.

Being a grown up comedian must be impossible. or is it improbable?

I still think continuously getting tested to make the right choice is the most overwhelming part. It's easy to be irresponsible. In joke telling, during conference calls (hopefully not the same instance and if so I'm routing for laughs). It's convenient to make choices not thinking of the consequences (easier when consequences have not been experienced but lets not argue on semantics now).

It's your actions

Valuing them

Recognizing your choices

Knowing what you're up against

Deciding and doing it again and again

Wait I started rapping.

Point it still there. Whether I am watching last weeks SNL (btw best sketch was Tina Fay being "in love" Justin Beiber... he's a thing right??) or dealing with my own situations.

Overwhelming - yes. Not funny 85% of the time - absolutely. Accidentally funny 5% of the time - nicki yes,SNL... we'll say 4.2%. Doesn't matter. We need to be responsible and conscious of these choices.

In jokes. Only talking about jokes. (and fine other stuff.)